Emotional Eating – Daddy Issues

Doesn’t everyone have ‘Daddy Issues?’ Mine always seem to center around my self-worth and my eating issues. I’ve tried over the past week to identify the ‘why’s’. My grandmother had a degree in nutrition. Her way of dealing with nonconformity was what she deemed as ‘being forthright’. It was more like teasing with a bitter edge or truth disguised as a tease. In reality her comments could be downright mean and nasty. Well, my father learned this skill very well and I do love my father, don’t get me wrong, but I hope never to develop this skill. Growing up my defense to this forthright teasing was threefold; one I became a very good liar, two I became a good sneak where food was concerned, and finally I would eat exaggerated amounts of whatever was told to me “I shouldn’t eat that.”

The lying has lasted until my adult life and sometimes it is my first instinct. I feel the need to lie about food intake. My ever patient husband is still dealing with the fall out of my instinctual lying. He has gotten very angry at me at times for lying about food. I have tried to explain that it is my first reaction and he just shakes his head. Now to his credit he will tell me “I am not your dad.” I have gotten better about not lying, but I still do it.

Being a sneak is first and foremost a horrible thing to be. I hide take out bags in the trash, throw out the garbage early, and squirrel food away. Of the three bad issues this one is so hard to stop myself from doing because I’m so good at it, I don’t get caught often. ::sigh:: This is what I want to work on this week.

Eating exaggerated portions out of spite is really misdirected anger. I don’t do this anymore. I think somewhere I realized that it only hurt me when I did it. It was meant to ‘show’ the other person that I could be in control of my own food.

One of the other emotional issues I work on is eating when I’m worried, bored, frustrated, upset or sad. I understand the chemical reasons people eat and get a mood boost; it stimulates endorphin production and the body/mind become satisfied. Part of the problem is that I am not as aware as I should be. I usually recognize what I am doing ¾ of the way through whatever I am eating at the time. My goal should be to keep busy or recognize my stress points like after dinner when I need something to do that is constructive.

On a happier note, since the 3^rd of January 2008 I have lost 7 pounds! I started at 239.8 and now am 232.8. Before the end of January my goal is to break the 230’s. As for my exercising 5X a week as I look at my calendar I see that reality is 3X a week. My goal for February then will be 4X a week.